May or may not have just ordered two new binders. Let’s hope one or both of them fit.
So that was a big freak-out, huh?
I still haven’t figured out all the shit that came along with it, but I think I’ve finally – nearly a year later – sorted some of it out.
So, yeah. Hi?
I fit in my binder again. A bit tighter against the belly than it was, but less tight around the hips, which at least means the smaller hips part is working. Awesome.
May see if I can gather up the nerve to put up a pic later.
So, had kind of a big freak-out there and ran away. Lets pretend that didn’t happen.
Bummer – I saw pictures of myself at that wedding this summer and was horrified. (Not at the clothes, just at the weight.)
Better – I’ve been working on being healthier; eating better, working out, etc.
Bumps in the road – Which means that, crap, the boobs get bigger, but yay, the hips are getting smaller.
Before having a kid, I had a normal-ish ass, and fairly nonexistent hips. And I liked it that way. Not the case anymore. The butt pops out, and the hips are present and accounted for. And it ain’t like they’re going anywhere, but I feel a little bit better at least when I put on pants and have more of a straight line down the side, and less of that outward curve.
So I’m gonna come out and state my intentions and all that crap here, at least the short-term ones.
Goal one: lose enough weight so I can fit back into my binder. (Yeah. Haven’t been able to wear that basically since mid-May. awesome.)
Goal two: work on my arms and hips. Bigger arms, smaller hips. Been reading advice on how to work on the upper body stuff, and am having some trouble feeling like I’ll be able to pull it off, but I might as well give it a try, right?
After 1.5+ years of really digging my haircut and liking going to the barber, I’m kind of disappointed that one experience can send me back to that bad place, even when the end result looks fine.
And by ‘disappointed,’ I mean really fucking annoyed with myself.
It’s stupid, really – just a throw-away sentence in a post on another blog, saying I’ve got gender issues (whoooo, shock).
I erased and typed and erased and typed and erased and typed that line probably 10 times before hitting publish. Even though probably nobody else will even pay attention to it, and a few posts sidetracking into RL from the normal content of that blog will be quickly forgotten.
But hey, I hit post.